What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise...What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise"
I have been thinking a lot about life's storms today as loved ones of mine continue to face more than what seems to be their fair share, if there is such a thing as a "fair share" as such.
A dear friend of mine and I had a conversation earlier this summer about that very thing that has had me sorting through how I feel about the topic ever since.
Though both of us share a faith in a loving God, we were of differing opinions it seemed on what "loving" looks like.
The divergence of our opinions stemmed from the question does God bring us pain or allow it to happen? Why? For the purpose of shaping us? Essentially the veil of protection being lifted from the pain of this world in order to strengthen us in a way we may not be able to identify at the time, or potentially, ever?
Our thoughts seemed to take different paths right at the point of asking why. She was angry and scared that bad things should happen at all, and did not think that God could have anything to do with that. Now, this is a woman whose father was a minister and has been raised in faith, so I don't deny her opinion, or see it as shallowly formed. We all have our own interpretation of the faith that we walk through life with. That is just part of our own journey with God.
But, I don't see this question from that perspective I guess. Of course I don't want to experience physical or emotional pain anymore than any of us do, nor do I want to see my loved ones experience it either. That is actually even worse. But, I feel that when the prayer is made in faith for it to stop, and it doesn't, then I have to have faith that there is a bigger picture I am not seeing, and maybe never will, of why this thing is being allowed to happen. And I do believe that things are allowed to happen, God doesn't do it, but he allows it. From a place of love as a parent loves their child. From a place of being able to see what we can't and knowing it will be for the best.
Having that faith to pray, "Thy will be done God" and really mean it. And not be thinking "if it's the outcome I want, then let your will be done".
That is the hard part, for me anyway. There is always that little part of me that wants to pipe in and say right after the "Thy will be done ...And don't you think it should happen this way? That would be really awesome if it could just go like this!" .
Praying today that I can remember it is THY will be done, not my version of what I think His will should be. A
faith to leave it at His alter.
Not keep trying to pick it back up and "fix" it all.
"Be still and know that I am God". I am working on that "be still" part!
These beaches I have been blessed to walk these last three days have been shaped into something that isn't just flat and one dimensional... by storms.
They are sculpted by the power in those waves that never stop pulling pieces out and rolling them back in again, in another place, to form and reshape them daily.
Just, I think, like life's storms, which sometimes seem to never stop, do to us.
Reshaping us, hopefully strengthening us, with every challenge.
How weak would our faith become if it was never challenged? If it was just a pretty idea, sitting on the shelf in our hearts "just in case". How compliant would our human nature allow us to become? And then BAM!, life's trials occur, and just when we needed it most it would be too weak to carry us through the darkness and back to the light.
Tomorrow I start the long journey back home. And I hope I can remember that deep sense of "it is well with my soul" feeling I have had several times as I sat here by the ocean processing my thoughts aka babbling on this blog! Lol
Not from an "everything is perfect when I unplug from life" kind of way, cause I kind of didn't. But I actually spent a lot of time just processing. Without stopping to take care of million other things like we do in regular life. What a gift this has been!
If God can create this amazing ocean, and that canvas of stars that lit the sky last night, and set all the rythmns and cadence that keep those tides changing and ...you know by now I could geek out on this nature deal forever!...but if He can do ALL that, then I know He's got you and me. We're covered! We're loved! We just have to believe that.
This was a deep thoughts day! I promise to post more pictures of donuts or something tomorrow to make up for it! Or, maybe I'll just eat one and tell you about it! Lol
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Well said, Sue! Sending warm thoughts and hugs from Mary Mauk in PA your way today, my friend.
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you friend! Love ya!
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